Tuesday, November 08, 2005

The Last Hurrah

It's done! I've moved! For all future posts, please reference The Ersatz Geeks' Page!

If you notice a lack of links and archives right away, that's because I'm slowly moving them over as I get used to the new interface and templates and stuff.

See you around! Also, if you have any problems with commenting or whatever, please e-mail me at bobi@ersatzgeeks.com or catch me on AIM at bobifro or MSN Messenger at huhbenchichang@hotmail.com

Thanks, Blogger! It was fun!

Monday, November 07, 2005

Damn My Idle Hands

I dunno, I just felt like making this. Like many people these days, I have a strange fascination with Chinese/Japanese characters. Unlike most people, I don't favor "fortune" or "masterful sex performer" or whatever. I like words like "me" and "to gyrate". I think the hardest to write is "International Date Line", which is itsukehenkousen in Japanese. Strange Time Place or something to that effect. I can't be bothered to look it up at the moment. Oh, yes, the picture.



It's like a cool button or badge or something. Neat, huh?

I wonder who clicks on these stupid pop-under GIFs?

Well, besides me. Sometimes they're so indescribably inane I simply must follow them. That, or I can't figure out what some of the InterSpakk means. Thanx, BFF? Thanx, Butt-Fucking Fucker? Thanx, Blue Frog Fingerer? Thanx, Bake Four Fritos? Thanx, But Fornicate with the French?

What the hell does it mean?

Blogging From School As A Personal Letter Forum

Sleep Goblin: I am more than capable of experiencing emotions other than "drunken love". However, I have been trained from the get-go to try as hard as I can to not show any emotions other than: silly, happy, mad or variations thereupon. Sadness must be squelched immediately; crying is for sissies. However, being a sissy, I'm ok with that.
Thanks for the concern, though.

Crystalpistol: Thanks for the thought, but what would Mr. Pistol think? What would he do to me? It may very well be worth it, but I have a low threshold for pain. Please keep this in mind while shopping for tickets. Shall I expect you around the beginning of December? Will you want to stay for awhile or just disembark, smooch, and turn right around? 'Cuz that'd be kinda dull. Just a skosh.

I'm waiting for my meeting with my Chinese Mythology professor. The bastard ripped my latest essay apart; apparently I'll have to completely redo it.

Cocksucker.

Oh, crap, forgot...

Sleep Goblin: What's with your non-obsession with Alan Rickman? He's not my all-time favorite actor ever, but my hat is certainly off to him. His voice rocks ass, he's got the looks, and he's been in all kinds of crazy good movies. If there was one actor I would choose to flatter with ridiculously nonsensical parody, it'd be Rickman. Actually, it is Rickman. Purely for your own edification, my all-time favorite actor (and one of three men with whom I'd "go gay" for a while) is Thomas Jane. He is teh sex.

It's time for "Too Much Information!" with B.O.B.I.! This is the part of the blog where B.O.B.I. reveals just a tad too much about his personal life in what is inevitably a disturbing or embarassing piece of text!

I gave up masturbation. It started as a byproduct of Barbara, Dane's girlfriend, staying in the apartment all weekend. Now I realize how much time and energy I save by abstaining from that nasty habit and I think I'll just keep going without it. Those tests saying it's healthy are probably bullshit anyway. The Holy Roman Catholic Church wouldn't forbid it for nothing, right?

Hope you enjoyed "Too Much Information!" with B.O.B.I.! If anybody at all comments, even a spammer, this segment will be sure to make a return appearance from time to time!

I need a new schtick, and the "verbal vomit" from a few posts back seems to be a good one. What say we stick the middle finger of discourse down the throat of vocabulary and regurgitate the foul muck of non-sequitor laden language?

Right now I'm typing on one of those old, really noisy keyboards, the likes of which one may hear being used in the next county. The girl behind me keeps shifting around in her seat, but I'm not brave enough to see if she's getting pissed by my rat-tat-tapping. Fuck her, anyway. She's kinda cute, though. Maybe I should turn around. Penguins are one of the cutest animals ever. They're related to the puffin, like the one Sleep Goblin painted for me. Thanks again, Sleepy! I wuv joo! My Sprite is getting flat. Oh well, I should be drinking water anyway. Today I think I'll wear three sets of boxers and see if I can pass them off as short shorts. The human brain, if used properly, is able to open cans of asparagus. Don't use it on those refried beans, though; that's just stupid. Sima Qian, the Grand Gentleman Historian of ancient China, tried to emulate Confucius. Once, when I was little, I tried to climb a tree. Then my mom called me in for dinner. I wonder where that tree is now...

Thanks for reading, everyone! I'll see you later. And remember: It's unwise to use a frozen chicken as a flotation device.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Time? I Have Time?

Seriously, I've whittled away the evening by doing laundry, cleaning my room, practicing the cello, and making this:



I'm not entirely sure what brought that on. I needed a dose of Rickman, as I'm sure you all do from time to time. Reason enough for me; what about you? Let's talk about you for awhile, hmm?

Welcome to my blog. I hope you like it. In the past I've been funny, witty, and all sorts of clever. More recently I've been depressed and noticably absent. Ah, well, such is the life of a college student, n'est-ce pas? Please, make yourself at home! The links are for your convenience, of course, but I highly recommend my "Archives" before treading to other sources of amusement. So, what do you like to do? Oh, that sounds fun. What about reading? Picked up any good books lately? I don't think I've heard of that one, but if it's any good, maybe I'll go look for it! Ok, sounds good.
Oh, goodness, I'm such a terrible host! Would you like anything to eat or drink? Oh, no problem, we've plenty of that around here. There you are, hope it's not too stiff. My, the lamplight certainly reflects wonderfully off of your eyes. They're such an interesting shade of blue! I could stare at them for such long stretches of time... Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to trail off there. You've finished your drink? Care for another? Ok, that's fine. By the way, that's a great outfit you're wearing; it really accentuates your figure. I'm serious! I am! Ok, ok, how about a movie? Any particular favorites? Really? That's mine, too! Let's pop it in! I love how it starts; not too much action, not too much exposition, plenty of dialogue... oh, right, I'll shut up now.

I love making shit up in my head. It's always perfect. Sometimes I'll do that when I meet an interesting girl. Then she walks away while I'm daydreaming, but for those twenty seconds or less we live happily ever after...

It is really dull to be me right now.

[EDIT] Thought I'd include a note to Sleep Goblin: the "streak" is over. Last night my cousins, sisters and I went to "The Weatherman". During the movie, a father named Robert dies in the winter of lymphoma, which is exactly the circumstances of my dad's death. I didn't stay dry-eyed for the rest of the movie and I had a hard time not sobbing. Thanks for listening, Sleepy.

Bit 'O Free Time a la Crystalpistol

She stole it, now I'm stealing it. Not much to do until I have to go to work.

/shrug

two names you go by (other than your real name):
1 B.O.B.I.
2 Big O

two parts of your heritage:
1 Polish
2 Irish

two things that scare you:
1 Being totally alone
2 Silence

two of your everyday essentials:
1 The ring I found in the shower stall freshman year
2 underwhere

two things you are wearing right now:
1 boxers
2 socks

two of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment):
1 Coheed and Cambria
2 Thrice

two of your favorite songs (at the moment):
1 Image of the Invisible - Thrice
2 A Favor House Atlantic - Coheed and Cambria

two things you want in a relationship (other than real love):
1 Good conversations
2 Oral (both ways)

two truths:
1 Women are insane
2 Final Fantasy Tactics is the best game ever

two physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex):
1 Eyes (wider is usually better)
2 butt (no one thing defines a good butt, though; takes all kinds)

two of your favorite hobbies:
1 Relaxing
2 Celloing (growing on me again)

two things you want really badly:
1 Money
2 To be out of school

two places you want to go on vacation:
1 Japan
2 Poland

two things you want to do before you die:
1 Kiss a girl
2 Fly

two ways that you are stereotypically a chick/guy:
1 I love destruction
2 Bigger is almost inevitably better

two things you are thinking about now:
1 How badly I don't want to go to work
2 I can't think of two things at once

two stores you shop at:
1 Target
2 Cub Foods

Saturday, November 05, 2005

O Ye Who Art Loverly

A school teacher
A chemistry preacher
A loverly creature
And more!

With beautiful hair
Eyes that glitter and glare
She spins here and there
No one knows what for!

She laughs at dessert
In love she's been hurt
I tried to have her (for a spurt)
But luck wasn't mine...

She's simply too grand
Writing hilarious odes and
Observations on Estonia, her homeland
It's too bad she gave up wine.

What comedy would issue
What things would she do?
What chaos would ensue
From a drunk Spinnerette?

Men would fall over themselves to save her
She's attractive already and if in danger she were
A damsel in distress she'd be, I aver
Worth saving more than any princess yet.

Here, then, to Spinning Girl
For her Eleventy Umpteenth Birthday, a twirl
Or a dance is the least she deserves from any churl
Though I'm too far away.

I merely have a poem from the heart
For the woman who took mine, briefly, with her feminine art
And though we be miles and years apart,
In my mind I'm with you today.

I wish you many more, filled with time with whatever man upon whom you bestow your grace.

XOXOXO *pinch*

-B.O.B.I.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Guffaw



[EDIT] Thanks for reminding me, Yak. That is, indeed, a to-scale replica of my Block 'N Tackle. My Wedding Toys, my Bits 'N Pieces, Meat and Two Veg... The Ol' Beef Whistle and Maraccas!

How ya like me NOW!?

[EDIT x2] (in response to Sleep Goblin's comment)
Remember, Rand earned his Heron-mark blade (fight with Seanchan High Blood at Falme) AND he ignores (ignores!) an unbelievable amount of pain every moment! Despite this, he functions like a normal person! Plus the thing that happens towards the end of Knife of Dreams. You'll find out.

Rand is THE BAMF of the series, although I don't like him as much as other characters.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

I'm Such A Fucking Otaku

I made this after I got home today. I finished Book Eleven of "The Wheel of Time" Series today and I felt particularly nerdy. What's more is I'm looking for pieces of wood and knives so I can practice wood-carving. Why, you ask? Because I own a naginata (very very similar to Mat's ashandarei) and despite the fact that it already has Rand's Dragon on the sheath, I want to put ravens and the inscription down the haft. How fucking cool would that be? All I need is a gaucho hat, a red coat, a frilly-ass shirt, some breeches and some boots and I'm Mat. Plus I'd have to shave. Oh well.
[EDIT]Fuck, I totally forgot the black scarf. The shirt is wrong, but I love this picture. It captures his rakish nature perfectly, and just about all the symbols are there. He just needs his signet ring, one or two falls of lace on the cuffs and at the throat and the blade of the ashandarei is missing the ravens, but otherwise... it's him. Yeah, I'm a complete and utter dork for WoT. Sue meh.

For those of you who haven't read this series, it is my highest recommendation, and that's saying something. There are many other books I'd recommend to read otherwise, but this is definitely tops.

For a while I had doubts... I remember Book Ten, "Crossroads of Twilight" as a lot of exposition and setting with very little plot advancement; just a lot of set-up. "Knife of Dreams" comes out swinging though; it kicks more ass than a psychotic, three-legged man at a donkey show. Some things get resolved, which is beyond excellent; I've been desperately hoping for two for the last three books. Some things are set up and I'm practically screaming because I want to know what'll happen next so fucking BAD! Also, I really want to know what a couple things mean, as they pop up now and again, but I'm left clueless.

I won't spoil anything for anybody, but I will say that my favorite ass-beaters are still kicking it, Original Bad-Ass Style:
Lord Matrim Cauthon, Leader of the Red Band, Prince of the Ravens for keeping it real.
al'Lan Mandragoran, Aan'Allein, The Uncrowned King, Lord of the House of the Golden Crane for being the second hardcorest mutha in the book.
Lord Perrin t'Bashere Aybara, The Wolf King and Liege Lord of Manetheren and/or The Two Rivers for taking it all the way for his lady.
Aludra, Last of the Guild of the Illuminators for sheer inventiveness.
Egwene al'Vere, Watcher of the Seals, The Flame of Tar Valon, The Amyrlin Seat, Hardcore Obstinate Super-Bitch Who Really Needs a Dose of Vitamin Gawyn for being her.
Any and All Asha'man for being royal ass-beaters, even the pussies who let themselves become Warders for being rude, crude, and destructive. Now that's manly.

Peace out, I need to go salivate to dreams of blowing shit up with my mind. Yeeeaaaahhhh....

Fuck yeah.